Victoria Bauman on Success, Comparison & Self-Esteem
Victoria Bauman is an awesome woman I connected with while traveling in Bali! Part of her story is in my new book It’s the Awkwardness for Me. Her story is so amazing that I wanted to share an extended version of the interview with you!
How do you define success?
In the past, I defined my success as a very specific milestone. I needed to have an impact in my work, earn a certain amount of money, and receive a certain amount of recognition. That was how I defined success. I used that standard as a marker if I was doing enough.
In the past three years, I hit all of those goals. I have been extremely successful in my work and I still feel the same as I did before. Now I’ve made new markers and I’m like, wait a second... is that how it’s going to be with my whole life? Just making new standards and running towards them?
I’ve really slowed down these past few months and asked myself what it means to be successful. I’ve decided success for me is being able to wake up every morning with love in my heart for myself. I have enough love to overflow so that I could be walking down the street and smile at every stranger. Success is showing up every single day to love and to not sprint towards specific milestones.
What is one piece of advice you wish you could tell your teenage self?
As a teenager, I was very self-conscious and had low self-esteem. You wouldn’t necessarily know from the outside because I pretended that I had it all together. In high school, I would walk through the hallways with my head down because I was worried about what people thought about me.
Having low self-esteem was so painful because I was constantly questioning myself. I had bad skin too so that didn’t help. I wish I could go back and tell her that everybody is questioning themselves and that everybody is struggling on the inside. My perception as a teenager was that certain people had it figured out and were cruising through life. I wanted to be like them and have it all figured out.
I thought there was something wrong with me. What I didn’t know was they too were battling their own struggles and insecurities. If I could go back I would want myself to understand that everyone else goes through that weird teenage phase too. That would’ve taken a lot of the pressure off.
Do you make time for self improvement and What are your favorite books?
Yes, absolutely. Self-improvement is everything to me, I believe everything that happens in our business is a reflection of what’s going on in our inside world. If we’re coming up against challenges externally then something has to shift internally. That’s exactly how I brought about my “success,” by doing a lot of inner work.
I spend time every morning checking in with myself and doing something to support myself before I start the day. Sometimes I do a full meditation, so that’s definitely a priority for me.
In terms of books, one of the earlier ones I read was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. That was so eye-opening in terms of following your dreams and not letting anything stop you.
I also like The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It was monumental for me because so much of my suffering was in my mind, just overthinking everything, questioning myself, being worried all the time. When I learned the concepts and techniques to calm my mind from this book, it was absolutely life-changing for me.
If you could share one message with teenagers, what would it be?
Spend more time focusing on how you're feeling, what you like, what you want to do with your life rather than looking at social media and everyone around you.
It’s so easy to fall into comparison, and I still do it in my late 20s. But as soon I take a break and turn off social media, I realize I’m living my life, I love life, and this is what I should be doing. It’s so refreshing and it brings me back to my happiness. So I would remind you to spend more time enjoying your life rather than comparing yourself to other people.
What awesome inspiration from Victoria! You can learn more about her work on her website and Instagram. Drop an emoji in the comments if you got something valuable from this interview! 😍
