This Is What Being Nineteen Felt Like


From my upcoming book If I Were Your Daughter: ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ “Being nineteen was like being in a never ending house of mirrors. It seems like a good idea in the beginning, to go on a fun adventure with your friends. You rush around every corner, excited to find new experiences. Yet the further you progress, the more you feel trapped. You lose your friends and you’re left with only yourself and your thoughts. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ You are surrounded by mirrors, forcing you to come to terms with who you are, when you don’t even know who you want to be. You feel alone, like there’s no one to help you escape. While it appears like there’s no end in sight, you know there must be a way out, you just don’t know how to find it. Instead of logically making the best out of the situation and finding your way out, you panic. Your back slides down the mirrors as you crouch on the ground, giving up. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ I stayed there on the ground, defeated, with my problems magnified all around me for a long time. It wasn’t until I got so low, and almost ended my life, that I had had enough. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. As the saying goes, real change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. I knew that if I genuinely wanted to get better, I would have to challenge myself and reach out for help."


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