It Scares Me That You're Reading This

Do you remember that 30-day blogging challenge I was doing?

Probably not.

Rightfully so, because you should be more concerned about your life, not mine.

Well, let me catch you up since you're here. I got through 7 days out of 30 and then I stopped.

What’s the point? I thought. I have other projects I want to spend my time on and this is taking away my focus from them.

After connecting with Isaac Morehouse and T.K. Coleman, in Charleston, South Carolina this week, my paradigm shifted. Before, I was blogging everyday because someone else, whom I deem more successful than me, said that it was a good idea.

If this challenge has helped an established entrepreneur and many others, then I must try it, so it can help me, I figured.

That’s exactly where I went wrong. Following guidance from mentors is important, but it really won’t hold any meaning for you until you understand why you’re doing it.

Every decision must be your decision completely. You must accept both the reward and risk, on your own accord, or else you won’t bother to care enough to follow through on doing your best work.

I’ve been holding onto this story that I don’t like writing, yet I continue to write because I know that it’s a valuable skill that will help me in the long run. When someone else encourages me to write, I do. Whenever I sit down to write a blog post for my website, I never want to. I figured it was because I don’t like to write.

Something about that doesn’t make sense though, as I enjoy writing in my journal, hidden away from curious eyes, every single day.

Today, T.K. and I talked about how learning out loud is super beneficial for both you and those following along. When you share what you’re working on, even when you’re not 100% certain or your project isn’t final, you let others in on your journey. You create a documentation of the creation of you, which is way more valuable than only speaking up once you’ve got it “all figured out.”

T.K. helped me realize something extraordinary today. I actually love writing, I just hate the feeling of sharing something that’s undercooked with the world.

Writing a post in a day and then sharing it doesn’t give me enough time to ponder, edit, re-read, and sort through every scenario of how someone could tear my piece apart.

It’s uncomfortable for me to be anything less than polished, and it always has been. I thought I overcame my perfectionism, but it looks like I still have some work to do.

I told myself I stopped the 30-day blogging challenge because it wasn’t a good use of my time. That was a lie. It was really because it made me feel uncomfortable and I didn’t like that feeling.

Now that I’ve acknowledged I quit because of fear, I must try again. Fear does not rule my life anymore, I gave that up years ago.

So here we go again, take two, 30 days of blogging.

It's the Depression for Me (Paperback)

It's the Depression for Me (Paperback)


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